it's a sunny sunny day..

Believe it or not but the sun has been shining the last days!! weee :) Took a walk by Kåsjön today after work, just had to enjoy the sun and be outside!! It was awesome!!! :)


Had an awesome weekend in Stockholm. First I had a boardmeeting, it was so good to see everyone!! Then I went to see my oldest brother and his family.Great to see them! Had such a good time there, spent two nights. We just relaxed, hung out and I got to play with Olof & Harry, my adorable nephews!! =)

We also went to see one of our aunts and cousin. Long time since I saw them so it was a happy moment :) just talkad and had some dinner together.. sadly enough my cousin has some problems :(

I don't know what more to tell.. life goes on as usual with work, friends and so. Almost to fast sometime but luckily enough it´s for a short period of time. I'm feeling much better and the heavniess, tiredness that has been hanging over me theese past weeks has lifted. Don't know why & what happend but everything suddenly felt better. Maybe it was my weekend in Sthlm- that I got to get away some, maybe it's the sínging & prayer with my prayinggroup on Monday evening. But most likley, a combination of them both! Rest and some time with God cures almost everything :)

I'm tired (´cause I slept to little this week) so I think I'm gonna lay down in my sofa and watch some TV. I work late tomorrow so no need to hurry to bed and it wll be soo nice to sleep in :)

Take care!!
xoxo

FInaly an update..

Hi friends!!

sorry that I kept you waiting for so long.. this past weeks has been busy as usual, I have been working and I have been planning a conference I'm responsible for with some others and I have been with friends.. I just love hanging out with my buddies.. they just crack me up :) I met a friend some weeks ago that I havn't seen in years. It was awesome!! we had such a good time!! it was like we saw it eachother reasently.. :)

My last apointment with Johan and the one with Hans really made me realize things and I could let go of things and move on. Some things fell into the righgt place. Soo nice!! :) and I got some strong pictures and encouragement from God some weeks ago which help alot to see things in a different perspective!!

But dispite all the good things that has happend theese past 1,5 weeks have been kind of ruff. I have been so tired and kind of low, and I have had a cold :( I have just been kept on moving by will. And the mercy of God of course. Don't know why but it has just been a hard time, something is nagging me but I don't know what. Guess I'll find out when I'm ready for it.As usual. never peace, never rest..

I'm soooo sick of the rain.. sigh.. it's just raining and raining here in Gothenburg. Imagine if we have gotten the rain in snow.. woow.. :) really wanna get away to some some warm and sunny place.. *dreaming*

This past weekend there was a ecumenical weekend in my parish. On Friday night there were stand up and a worshipmass in my church, Me and some friends went. It was awesome!! we had such a good time. We laughed, giggled and just fooled around some. We were worse then teena-gers sometimes :) I post two pics from that night.. one on me and my friend and one of me..

have a good week!!

xoxo

Mid January

So.. I'm back again.. don't know why I can't get myself together and write more often.. sigh.. but now I'm here :)

Have had good weeks since last time. Have been working, has been out on restaurant with friends, have had friends over and so.I have been a lot in church and I have had long & interesting chats with my friend that works there.We talked about beeing the only sibling that doesn't have a spouce, how that feels and so. And we talked about relations to sister-in-laws.. we are pretty simular in many ways my friend & I so it was great to talk and just relax :)

I have been thinking a lot about why I have such a hard time loving myself and see myself as beutiful. I know I'm loved by friends and I have all love I need in God but I have a hard time understanding that someone is gonna be able to love me and spend his life with me. But I'm working on it and I'm getting better at it :)

I had a talk with my "mentor" this Tuesday. So giving and sooo nice!! He's awesome!! Helped me to see some things in new perspectives.. We have talked about it before but now I got an deeper understanding for it. I have gone/worked through a lot of things pretty quick theese past years and I have come a long way with my self and my trust in and relation with God. I learned pretty fast that it's no idea to restrain feelings and hide them; you work though things faster and move on faster if you let the feelings come up and let yourself feel them.And it's not until you recognize the feelings and let yourself feel them that you can be healed..
A friend of mine said he was impressed by be and tought it was mature that I had started to talk with a "therapist" about my selfesteem and so. But for me it's nothing. I had no choice if I wanted to be able to love myself and be able to move on. Of course it's hard and painful but it's woth it instead of going with this nagging inside and trying to hide the feelings and just feel low & blue..

So right now I'm at peace and feeling rather good about my life and I know some day soon I'll be through with this :) I don't know how long it will take, you never know that, but some day it's just a bright light shines up and you say "aha, that's the way it is..".. it's a wonderful feeling!!

well.. have some stuff that I need to get done before work.. have a wonderful weekend!!
love

Happy New year

and a late Merry X-mas!! Hope you all had a blessed and joyful x-mas and new years!!

Had a great time at home in Delsbo. We had a little snow, which was awesome, and the sun was shining!! Felt like I hadn't seen the sun for sooo long when I arrived home. It's only raining and grey here in Gothenburg. Had an relaxed and easygoing x-mas. Hung out with family and visited some relatives. I also called my "family" in the states. Talked with Vera. Awesome!! sooo good to hear her voice. Miss them so much :(

Came back to Partille this past Friday and celebreated New Years with some friends. Had an awesome time!! They are just so hilarious and crazy :) Today I have just been home taking it easy..

I'm excited about this comming year, I can feel that it will be a good year. I'm full with expectation for 2008. I have promised myself to focus on a few things and search God´s will for me & my life. I'm gonna take a class in jazzdance and I'm gonna continue to work out at the gym and I'm gonna keep on talking with the "mentors" I have. I'm gonna work through the stuff that has been hurting this fall with them- the lonliness, the frustration, the longing for a boyfriend/someone to share life with, my low self esteem and my need for attention & acknowledgement. Doesn't sound easy, I know, but I really want to and I have started with it already and it feels good.But of course it hurts too..

Emelie.. I recognize and can see my own feelings in what you have written in your blog lately. So much of what you have written fits on me too. We are going through the same stuff it seems like.. it's nice to see that I'm not alone with my feelings..

Well.. time to sit down in front of the tv and go to bed early. Working tomorrow so I will get up early.
Take care!!
love

exciting day

So.. I'm back ;)
had a exciting morning at work today, I'll tell you.
First we celebrated Lucia ofcourse. The kids were soooo cute, just adorable,many small Lucias, Santas etc..unfortunely we're not allowed to take pictures of the kids for private use so I couldn't take any pics :( Then we had saffronbuns, gingercockies and so with the parents. Really nice and cosy :) So far so good, but then it started..
First we lost power for a while. Luckily the cook had finished the porrige so we started to prepear breakfast and put the kids at the table, even though it was pretty dark- thank God for candles :) Then the light came back but then the firealarm went of instead, *sigh*, so it was just to take the kids and run outside- in just socks and the clothes they had on..the poor kids were freezing when we stood outside waiting to get to know what happend so we could go in. After a while we could go in and got to know that the batteries to the alarm were going bad and when the power came back the bad batteries made the alarm go off..
We finally had breakfast and I could continue cleaning.. wee :) exciting morning huh?!

Have a had a pretty calm afternoon at home..carried some empty boxes to my storageroom in the basement, have danced some, and I have made some sweets (knäck). yuuum :) maybe I'll bring some to work tomorrow..

One of my brother´s called earlier. I was supposed to go home to Delsbo by truck with him next Friday evening but now his boss had called and said that they aren't gonna drive north on the 21:st ´cause they can't load ´cause it's closed :( so now I have to take the Friday off and go on Thursday night or take a very very expensive train on Friday afternoon or Sunday.. sigh sigh.. but nothing to do..

Getting tired. Think I'm gonna read some and go to bed..
xoxo

new apartment

sitting in my new apartment..trying to wake up :) doing some laundry so I got up early..

I like my apartment. Feels good!! have lived here for a week soon.. time flies buy. Have unpacked some stuff but not everything.. taking a little at time..

I'm still walking around with a cold & stuffy nose :( sigh..so enoying.. so except then working I haven't done so much this week. Have been so tired and my head has felt blown up and have bothered me.
But yesterday I were in church after work.Helped out at the "alpha course". It was the last time before x-mas so they had x-mas food for food.. yuuum!! :) then they had a short gathering in church with a very simple service.. me and Malin danced the blessing. Sooo strong and powerful.My knees were so week.. you could feel & see that they were moved.. love it when the dance speaks like that!!

time to go and take a look at my laundry.. and then have breakfast. Gonna be home and unpack and fix some more things in my apartment before I go to work..

have a good weekend!!
love

more pics..

some more pics from the baptism and my weekend in Sthlm..

Harry is sound a sleep..

and Olof too.. :)